One Month Realization

I’ve never imagined myself being into music. I never thought of carrying a musical instrument before. I am the type of person that gets bored easily and I will never enjoy a plain instrumental music, but everything has changed. I never planned of having an interest in violin. It is my first time to try it and it is my first time to appreciate the beauty of music.

I was crying every time I had my violin lesson with my teacher. The drills were very overwhelming and difficult to do. Every time I commit an error, my hands were slapped so badly and for that experiences, I thought of giving up. I thought that maybe this is not really my forte to pursue. They doubts were attacking me and every time I try,  it is always “Wrong bowing!”, “bad arm habits!”, these were always repeated in two hours of lesson every week end. I stopped my violin lessons for a month because I was very down to still continue.

For one month, I continuously hear my grandfather plays concerto in piano and I’ve realized that I missed the way my violin plays. I am just being too impatient for instant results. Three months of basic lessons is not enough for huge improvements. Nothing is achieved instantly without any sacrificed time and effort. It needs investment of sacrificed things that you want. Discipline in learning music is more different and controlling. For that moment that I stopped, I’ve realized that I am wasting my time. I am wasting a month that i should be improving instead.

I came back and tried again to improve myself. Well, classical music is not bad, I enjoyed it. I had the deep understanding for the purpose of a certain violin piece. Everything was composed uniquely and music is there to open the minds and hearts of the audience to freely explore the message of every tempo and dynamics from the piece. Musicians like me are like storytellers of one tragic story, but we use different language that can be understood not because they literally know the language, but how it feels when the composer was experiencing a certain pain, love and sorrow.

Emotions are shown to the audience just like an actor who acts on the stage. I think all performers have their one goal, it is to pass the emotions to the audience and make them feel what the real characters felt. I would always have goosebumps whenever I hear a very good concerto. Well, that’s music, it will make you lose yourself for awhile because it lets you explore priceless experiences and feelings.